Sage Comforter

OVERLY DEMANDING DONORS – some sage advice

It's a thin line that development professionals walk when establishing comfortable limits in interactions with donors and prospects – even as we try to get them to tell us everything and anything about themselves.  We know that learning more about donors and prospects adds to our ability as development professionals – the more we know, the easier it is to help donors make gifts that work for them as well as our charity. But be sure you are comfortable as a relationship progresses.

Naturally, as part of the cultivation and stewardship process, we try to be informative, considerate, patient, friendly and helpful. After all, our donors are also our ambassadors and making them happy about our charity and staff is all part of the development process.

Generally speaking, this does not include:  

*sending out an exorbitant number of notifications regarding a small token tribute gift; *helping donors move from their home (even if they donated it to your charity);

*calling a very long list of strangers to see if they're coming to a private birthday party and suggest they make birthday gifts to your charity,

*picking up someone from the airport (unless you're planning to solicit this "captive audience" in the car);

*chauffeuring donors to events you're not also personally attending;

*back-dating gift receipts (also not legal);

*spending an hour on the phone, daily, with the same caller (no matter how lonely); *stopping what you're doing to attend to a minor request that can normally wait, and anything else that donors or prospects may unthinkingly demand that has little or nothing to do with charitable intent.

At some time in your career you will find yourself dealing with situations involving an overly demanding donor or two (or three, etc.).  Some are perfectly lovely people who do not realize that your time is already stretched to the limit and some are less aware individuals who may have misguided perceptions of what is appropriate, and some are just incredibly demanding. Regardless, all have to be dealt with in a way that hopefully keeps them happy ambassadors but doesn't intrude on you professionally or personally.

There is a famous line from the late poet laureate Robert Frost's poem Mending Wall, which goes "good fences make good neighbors". As development professionals, we can also say that establishing reasonable and realistic perimeters and barriers make good donor/prospect relations.

Always keep in mind that charitable intent is paramount in every situation.  By maintaining a professional mindset, we can more easily see which donor actions are truly gift related and which are simply over-the-top.  If you stand on the side of the "fence" of fundraising professional, you should be able to build solid relationships and not get caught up in uncomfortable situations. Of course, you may truly want to help a donor out but be careful of the tone you set. A polite decline to an outrageous request, or vice versa, can set the pattern from the start.  You can also toss the ball back over the fence by suggesting a way to "outsource" their request to a more reasonable venue, such as a messenger service, taxi service, personal assistant, etc. Be sympathetic to the request but handle your response carefully.  If a problem develops, you may need the assistance and advice of a more senior person in your organization.  If you are the senior person, seek a board member's help.  As the professional development person, you really are the one who can control the relationship, at least when it comes to overly demanding donors.

About the Author

Lorri M. Greif, CFRE, president of Breakthrough Philanthropy, Inc., has more than two decades of experience in the nonprofit community focused on creating and implementing successful planned giving and major gifts campaigns for local and national nonprofits. She has the experience of a seasoned nonprofit fundraiser coupled with the knowledge of a professional consultant.

Her many years of strategic thinking, fundraising know-how, and donor cultivation and stewardship, are now a key resource addressing the needs of Breakthrough Philanthropy's clients, mostly mid-sized to larger nonprofits.

Lorri has a unique skill for building or re-working fundraising campaigns from "the ground up." As the first Chief Development Professional for HIAS, Inc., a 120+ year immigration rescue agency, she created a major gift and planned giving program while accelerating their annual campaign. She changed the organization's fundraising culture by providing extensive training to other professionals and board members about the importance of individual giving versus dependence on government funding. She also created national marketing strategies, defined gift acceptance guidelines for the agency, oversaw adherence to IRS and government regulations, and more.

Lorri was also the National Director of Planned Giving for Women's American ORT (now ORT America, Inc.), a 100+ year-old nonprofit organization, which provides funding for vocational training and re-training worldwide. In addition to directing the program, she created and implemented a national marketing campaign for planned giving that helped to bring participation in the planned giving society to more than 1,000 members. She also helped to create the organization's Diamond Ladder campaign, which brings in millions of dollars in new and increased major gifts.

Additionally, Lorri helped to create or reinvigorate planned giving campaigns for such organizations as the Police Athletic League, Inc. (PAL), Friends of the IDF, YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation, and the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), to name just a few.

Lorri proudly serves on the board of Women in Development (WID). She is also a member of the Planned Giving Group of Greater New York (PGGGNY), the National Council on Planned Giving (NCPG), the American Council on Gift Annuities (ACGA), and more! Contact Lorri at info@breakthroughphilanthropy.com.

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